When I was a kid we moved around a lot, between England and Ireland and I was lucky really to have all my secondary schooling in one place. But because we moved I didn't stay in touch with schoolfriends - not like Big Man did, for example, or like Red and Mr Charming have been able to. In fact, when Big Man was in the Navy and we had the opportunity to make the family 'mobile' (ie we agree to move around with him) I opted to be 'static' ( we stayed at home and Big Man lived in Plymouth in barracks), so opposed was I to moving the kids around. That's what 13 different houses and 21 different schools'll do to you I guess. Anyway, like I said, I was never really able to keep in touch with school friends.
But then there was Facebook!!!! I managed to get hold of one schoolfriend, Anita who now lives in London and is a nurse. Her parents still live in Dublin and in fact nearly all of the girls I knew then still live there also. Now I've heard through Facebook that there is a school reunion being held for the Class of 88, on July 23 this year. In Dublin, and my dilemma is whether to go or not.
If I thought there would be lots of girls from my 'gang', or even my class going I wouldn't hesitate (although the price of the flight plus finding somewhere to stay would be a big factor....I suppose the place to stay isn't insurmountable); BUT from what I can see of the RSVP list on the event page I only recognise one definite (out of nine!)and that's Anita, who I can see any time. Another two good friends live in Paris and Maryland so they won't be going. And like I blogged before, my bestest buddy Gez is MIA somewhere.
But apart from the financial aspect, the other thing that is putting me off is....what if they're all prettier, slimmer, cooler and more successful than me? I know I shouldn't care but it's human nature, right? I already told the mother of one of Red's old schoolpals who I met in Poundstretcher that Red was doing really well in London at uni, when in fact you and I know that she has dropped out of her course and is being evicted from her house (which I can't even bring myself to blog about at the moment). But in the face of her girl doing fantastically well, I just felt that I didn't want the inevitable sympathy and questions that would follow. I'm so shallow.....I'm just like a swan, serene on the surface and flailing around crazily underneath.
Of course I've seen some of the attendees' photos on FB and what they work as, and they're just regular women like me so I shouldn't worry, should I? But I know only too well that should even one old girl walk in looking fantastic and really together it would make me feel just awful plus I'd be stuck there, unable to skulk off home. Is it just me feels a failure most of the time or do other people feel like that too?
Just like Morrissey, I hate it when my friends become successful........
Perhaps I should heed Babcia's school reunion experience. She went to one quite a few years back and told me that the women attending were cliquey and had obviously kept in touch with each other over the years. There was only one other woman who had been in the same class as her '....and I never liked her anyway.'
Looks like my schooldays will probably remain in the past....