Saturday, 18 June 2011

Skool Daze

I've written about my convent girl days before and thinking about it, overall I had a least compared to life now. Oh, to be young and free with only the worry of what mark Sister Pius would give my Math homework! If I knew then what I know now I would have been a far different girl.

When I was a kid we moved around a lot, between England and Ireland and I was lucky really to have all my secondary schooling in one place. But because we moved I didn't stay in touch with schoolfriends - not like Big Man did, for example, or like Red and Mr Charming have been able to. In fact, when Big Man was in the Navy and we had the opportunity to make the family 'mobile' (ie we agree to move around with him) I opted to be 'static' ( we stayed at home and Big Man lived in Plymouth in barracks), so opposed was I to moving the kids around. That's what 13 different houses and 21 different schools'll do to you I guess. Anyway, like I said, I was never really able to keep in touch with school friends.

But then there was Facebook!!!! I managed to get hold of one schoolfriend, Anita who now lives in London and is a nurse. Her parents still live in Dublin and in fact nearly all of the girls I knew then still live there also. Now I've heard through Facebook that there is a school reunion being held for the Class of 88, on July 23 this year. In Dublin, and my dilemma is whether to go or not.
If I thought there would be lots of girls from my 'gang', or even my class going I wouldn't hesitate (although the price of the flight plus finding somewhere to stay would be a big factor....I suppose the place to stay isn't insurmountable); BUT from what I can see of the RSVP list on the event page I only recognise one definite (out of nine!)and that's Anita, who I can see any time. Another two good friends live in Paris and Maryland so they won't be going. And like I blogged before, my bestest buddy Gez is MIA somewhere.

But apart from the financial aspect, the other thing that is putting me off is....what if they're all prettier, slimmer, cooler and more successful than me? I know I shouldn't care but it's human nature, right? I already told the mother of one of Red's old schoolpals who I met in Poundstretcher that Red was doing really well in London at uni, when in fact you and I know that she has dropped out of her course and is being evicted from her house (which I can't even bring myself to blog about at the moment). But in the face of her girl doing fantastically well, I just felt that I didn't want the inevitable sympathy and questions that would follow. I'm so shallow.....I'm just like a swan, serene on the surface and flailing around crazily underneath.

Of course I've seen some of the attendees' photos on FB and what they work as, and they're just regular women like me so I shouldn't worry, should I? But I know only too well that should even one old girl walk in looking fantastic and really together it would make me feel just awful plus I'd be stuck there, unable to skulk off home. Is it just me feels a failure most of the time or do other people feel like that too?

Just like Morrissey, I hate it when my friends become successful........

Perhaps I should heed Babcia's school reunion experience. She went to one quite a few years back and told me that the women attending were cliquey and had obviously kept in touch with each other over the years. There was only one other woman who had been in the same class as her '....and I never liked her anyway.'

Looks like my schooldays will probably remain in the past....


  1. Everyone will have the same fears, and people who think they're cool are not cool, so I'm guessing you are cool. I worked with a lady who was obsessed with changing herself for the school reunion. She got some slimming pills from the 'doctor' above the chip shop in town (£30 per week), had her teeth whitened; bought all new clothes, had her nails done and went for the full 'well groomed' image. The reunion was a success, she really felt she'd made it. This led to a rift with her husband, they split and she hooked up with an old flame. Trouble was, she'd made loads of new friends who thought she was this glamour puss, and it was impossible for her to keep up. Am I rambling at 10:30 pm? Sorry.
    Point I'm trying to make is, this is not school any more, you're allowed to be you and there will be people who haven't had the success you have, won't have the steely determination you have and will never have the ability to endear total strangers as you have. You'll regret not going more than you'd ever regret going, surely?

  2. Thanks for the common sense comment about the Countryware. As long as I can find a buyer it's going.
    My experience of my school reunion was a positive one, although I did help orgainse it!
    Anyway for what it's worth I would wiegh up how you think you'll feel if you don't go. Also bearing in mind as you likely to see the people you would really want to?
    Good luck!
    Lisa x

  3. I would say "go". But go with Anita for comfort. I had a blast at my school reunion (when we were all 40). It boosted my confidence as I thought most of them had sent their mothers along!!!! I got one or two "boys" confess that they had always wanted to ask me out but daren't (no one ever asked me out at school which made me feel like a freak, but then again I used to go on about how I wanted to be a virgin when I got married, which I realise now would have put them off!!!)When I was at comp in the 70's all the boys had long hair - almost all of them at the reunion had none!!

    Try not to fret too much about Red (hard I know). She's young enough to spring back from these setbacks. xxxx

  4. I missed out on our 25th leaving anniversary last year as I was at Glastonbury and by the look of the pictures on Facebook it didn't look liked I'm missed much as hardly anyone turned up, no doubt having the same doubts as we all did.
    I'd say to grab the bull by the horns and go. You know Anita so there's someone you can chat to and it's only every twenty-odd years. Like Lucy wisely says, you'd regret not going more than you would by going. x

  5. I think that what you are feeling is totally normal. I'm like you in that I have a tendency to compare myself to others and panic that it'll be like School days and I'll be the kid with the wrong trainers lol. The reason I avoided the 10 year reunion a few years back though was because I didn't want to have to make polite conversation with people that wouldn't give me the time of day in school. X

  6. Our school is having its 25th reunion this year. As I went to an all girls Catholic school we are having it with our brother school. Am I going..probalby not. Not because I am ashamed of anything in my life but because anyone I cared about I have stayed friends with. I have no desire to see the girl who made my freshman year a living hell...

    I am not that person anymore..and I just don't care to see them



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