Where I Feel Like A Wimp And Look Like A Dork

Every Monday morning, since we only have one car and Big Man uses it to get to work, I take Carb Addict in a taxi to his weekly placement then come straight home again in the same cab. Since this started at the beginning of the year the fare has been, without fail, £11.60 but I always give the driver £12.50. Every driver I've had has gone a certain route. When we were in Liverpool last Monday Red took the trip and told me she was charged '£14-something'. I was annoyed because I thought they'd taken advantage of a young girl. Wrong.
Today we got in the taxi and the driver, an oldish man I'd not seen before started on a different route, saying that it was the same distance when I suggested the normal way. It's always busy at 9am because we live right by a school but once you're past that it's normally plain sailing however he used the traffic as a reason for his choice. I should've insisted that he went the normal way but reasoned with myself that if the fare ended up costing more than £11.60 I would refuse to pay and cite the regular price.
I don't need to tell you that the route the driver took entailed sitting in long traffic queues on the way back, do I? We were stationary and still around the corner from home when the meter hit £11.60.
'Let me out here' I said. The driver was a bit taken aback but pulled over and told me the cost, only for me to find that yet again, due to not wearing my glasses, I had put a 10p piece in my purse instead of a £2 coin. I only had £10.60. Feeling like the world's biggest gobshite I had to tell him that I needed to get more money from the house and that he would have to take me home after all. Which then meant we sat in a bit more traffic.
When we got to the house I must've looked at the meter and seen £12.80. I gave the driver the £10.60, ran into the house and got a £2 and a 20p and took it out to him. He sat looking at it puzzled. When I asked what was wrong he said that I'd only given him £2 and that it was short. I looked at the meter again and it was showing £13.20!
'It doesn't matter, love' the driver said, clearly feeling the waves of hostility radiating from me.
'Wait, I'll go and get it'
'No, really, it doesn't matter' he said.
'OK then. Bye' I said and stormed off.

Why didn't I insist on the driver taking the regular route? Or at least say that I always pay £11.60 and that I wouldn't pay any more? I've lived here 28 years and know as well as any cabbie where the traffic is bad. I didn't even get his number so I could ask NOT to be sent him next time, not that I think he'll be volunteering any time soon. The worst thing is looking such a bonehead when I'd tried to be clever and get out of the taxi before we got home.
Will I ever learn?

Calling All Grammar Freaks!!!

Spot the (deliberate?) mistake.You'd think somewhere like Travelodge'd get it right....how much do you reckon all these little signs cost them?

Keep Outta My Way!!!

...I'm a rootin' tootin' badass today!!! Well, technically yesterday. But I'm badass every day!!!

 When we moved into our house 18 years ago the house next door, that we join onto, was a B&B. Quite a scabby looking, disreputable one but still a bona-fide B&B and the landlord/owner lived onsite. After maybe 7 or 8 years he sold it and moved to France and it was bought, as a going concern by Mr Singh. Over the years it has been neglected and because Mr Singh lives far away in a leafy suburb and has lots of other properties to tend, he hasn't maintained it properly. First the sign outside was smashed to pieces by drunks and not replaced. Then there was an alleged murderer living there (he got off - Hampshire Police lost the crucial evidence at the tip) who threatened my friend Pam who lives on the other side of the B&B, with a big stick after accusing her of being a Peeping Tom at his girlfriend. Pam is a married grandmother. A couple of years back the B&B became empty and at Christmas time 2009 the water tank burst, resulting in an insurance claim for us of £6000. Three rooms (including my lads' bedrooms); the hall, stairs and landing; and the cupboard under the stairs were all soaked and we had masses of disruption. Pam told me other day that there had been squatters in there last year (I'm so nosy - how did I not know that?) and that there were two smack heads cooking up crack in the back garden last Summer. The police were called both times and at all times, when Mr Singh comes round at the request of the police, or me, or Pam, he just smiles and laughs as if it's nothing at all. That's the background.

For the last two weeks there has been the biggest amount of banging and carrying on next door and it became obvious from the dust and rubble that something was happening. We could tell from the hours that were being worked (after 5pm and weekends) that the builders were doing what's called a 'guvvy job' where I come from. I'm not sure whether they are the same Polish builders that he offered to us when he drenched our house because we didn't take him up on the offer. Yesterday we were woken up at 8am again and when I saw Mr Singh outside the B&B, stamping down the rubble in a dangerously overloaded skip I decided to confront him.

I started off extremely politely by telling him that we were not going to be woken up at 8am any more. Mr Singh was smiling. I said it was clear to me the men were working somewhere else and coming to his job afterwards, their prerogative, but that we too work all week and wanted to stay in bed at the weekend so we would appreciate the builders holding off until 10am.
'8.30?' said Mr Singh.
I, incredulous, said that I wasn't negotiating with him and that we had had quite enough of the banging, hacking and dust (they have hacked every scrap of plaster off the walls, along with the wooden laths, which they burned on a hair-raising 8 foot high pyre in the yard yesterday). He carried on smiling whilst I asked the builder not to start working until 10 at the weekend and he sensibly agreed - when you're having a half-English, half-Polish conversation with an irate neighbour woman it's always wise to agree with her!
Then Mr Singh made the fatal mistake of criticising my tree. When we moved in the tree outside the front door was little and now it's very big. Mr Singh suggested that we might want to cut it to about 12' since the roots are going to damage the pillar between our houses. The pillar is the archway over the porches, where the front doors are set back. Well, I'm not having anybody criticise my tree, especially not somebody whose fence we replaced a few years back because it looked so awful and somebody who had caused our insurance premiums to increase.
I gave it to him with both barrels. Told him that he had destroyed my home with water and had never even apologised. That his builders had started this work and he hadn't had the manners to call to me or Pam and explain what was happening. That his property was such an eyesore that I knew he'd had squatters. That he had cost my insurers £6000 ('For wallpaper? Surely not?!') and that I couldn't believe he had the gall to come to my door and complain about my tree. In fact I had said to Big Man before Christmas that it could do with trimming but now I shan't be cutting it for a very long time.

I'd like to say that it ended with a particularly scathing put down by me but it just kind of fizzled out. I did say that if he damaged my house again in any way I would go after him with everything I had (cringey...I'm such a drama queen), and he kind of drifted off, still smiling....

....leaving me feeling like this.

Are your neighbours a pain in the proverbial, or would I be your 'Neighbour from Hell'???!

PS We are going to Liverpool tomorrow. See you when I get back! Also, if anybody has any of the Tesco knife vouchers that they don't want let me know will you? I want the knives but don't shop at Tesco enough to get the required amount of vouchers. Am willing to swap a £10 off Sainsbury's first online shop voucher! ;P

The Weekend I Realised I'm Old

In 2009 the Kings of Leon were THE big thing and I really, really liked their music. I got it into my head that I wanted to see them live and since I'd always wanted to go to a music festival (never having been to a proper one when I was genuinely young. As opposed to just feeling and kidding myself I was young) I thought it'd be a wheeze to go to Reading Festival. Camping. Red was agreeable to coming with me - she was going on an all expenses paid weekend away AND seeing great bands, why wouldn't she be? - plus she had camped before. Only later did she tell me she'd never actually put a tent up before, only arrived at a campsite where the tents were already pitched (see! I've got all the camping lingo! Sadly none of the skills ;P). In a state of excitement I bought a wind-up lamp, a tent - I already had wellies! - no sleeping bags though. From reading festival-goers' websites I found out that it was better to just buy a couple of duvets from the Reading branch of Asda, wrap up in them at night then donate them at the end of the festival. I had also been assured by all the festival attendees I spoke to that there was no way I'd be the oldest there. That should have set alarm bells ringing.....never take the word of young people, particularly when it's someone (remember Pigface?) who has designs on your daughter.

We arrived and managed to pitch (there I go again, semi-pro camper-talk!!) our tent then hotfooted it into Reading where we bought a couple of duvets, a disposable BBQ, a dozen sausages and a case of cider. The place was full of lissom public school-type girls, all shining hair, long legs, family holiday in the Maldives style tans and good teeth. Need I say I hated them, whilst at the same time wishing I was like them?
The Kings of Leon were appearing on the first night of the festival (our second night there) so we got into the main stage area from about midday. I'd say we were maybe three rows from the front which wasn't bad going. Red is taller and stronger than me - my elbows are sharper though! - so she kept a tight hold. All was going fairly well...it was very hot and sunny and all the feet churned up loads of dust. Within about 30 minutes we were covered - clothes, hair, inside your boots. In fact it was so unbearable that on the next day, Saturday, Red and I went and had our hair done in Reading town centre. Big Man says I must be the only person who went to Reading Festival and had to have a wash and blow dry half way through.
After a couple of hours watching bands I'd only vaguely heard of, Deftones came on stage and a circle pit formed right next to where we were standing. Do y'all know what a circle pit is? A mosh pit? It's kind of like this;

   Except the one next to us was smaller and less good-natured :(

Mmm. Now imagine yourself being snagged by some maniac as they ran around screaming, and hurled into the centre. It might be exhilarating when you're a teenage boy (Mr Charming loves to mosh) but when you're an unsuspecting mum of three it's bloody terrifying, let me tell you. Luckily there is an etiquette at festivals...if anyone falls over they get picked up straight away, and so I was pulled up unceremoniously and was able to get back to Red. Almost unbelievably she said to me crossly 'for God's sake Mother, stay out of the mosh pit!'

Needless to say we got separated during the afternoon. Some girl pushed herself in between the two of us and there was no way I could get back to Red, and by then the heat, the dust and the sheer pressure of the crowd behind was not only getting to me physically, it was quite frightening. More circle pits were starting up, there was more pushing from behind, causing people to fall over - I was pushed over a couple more times and each time I really thought I would die, be crushed to death. Yes, you get pulled to your feet again straight away but there was no quarter given by any of the festivalgoers for the fact that I was as old as their mums - I was just another bod to be pushed past, bowled over and then yanked up again. At least youngsters are egalitarian I suppose! I pushed my way out of the crowd and spent an hour or so just walking round the market.

This is how dusty it was

Red and I had our mobiles so I knew that she'd stayed where we were. By the time the Kings of Leon came on I tried to get back to her but there was no way, so I watched their set from the middle of the crowd and we met up again at the end. We'd pitched our tent quite near the entrance to the campsite (and near the toilets....that was one of my specifications lol!) so we had a walk through the different zones to get back to our tent. I had decided that my appetite for festivals had been sated - I felt exhausted; I was bruised, covered in dust, my hair was like nothing on earth; I was disappointed that KOL had been so ill-tempered and not played any encores AND I'd been separated from Red most of the time (she was very contemptuous of the the way I'd 'let myself be pushed out by that girl'...well, excuse me - she was a head higher, young, fit and strong!) - and I was looking forward to getting back to our tent and a (for me) sedated sleep. The final straw came when two young fellas walked past us and twisted round to look at Red and I. Both had smiles on their faces (you know the kind of smile I mean....when someone's about to try their luck) but the one opposite me's face fell when he saw that I was mum-aged and not a teenaged girl too. They quickly turned around and kept on walking.

And in that moment I knew I was old.

Too old for festivals. Too old to be wearing shorts and wellies, although in my defence my legs were very brown from a Turkish holiday. Too old to be camping (sleeping on the floor? No thanks!). Too old to live on four sausages and twelve tins of cider for three days. Too old full stop.

And I still had two more days to get through........

The Name's Pikey.....Mrs Pikey....

In this post last year I may have implied that I am too proud, and not in enough need to root through the possessions of strangers. In fact that is not strictly true. Only two days ago I was to be found scrutinising my neighbour's leavings and after a short conversation in pidgin English (him) and pidgin Polish (me) with a builder whose attention I got by throwing a large piece of wood through the window where he was working (accidentally!!! I could never do it again in a million years. And anyway, he should've answered the doorbell...) I was richer by two Pyrex casserole dishes; one matching lid; a large mirror etched with a picture of a galleon; and the piece de resistance, a blue plastic vegetable trolley. I am a great believer in life presenting you with what it is you need if you only wait. I wanted a vegetable trolley....hey presto, one presents itself right next door within, oh...three days? After I had a blitz in my kitchen (that exciting post is for another day - you'll be impressed!), part of which entailed scraping up yet another repulsively decomposed eggplant from the bottom of the vegetable cupboard, I decided that what I needed was some place to keep the veggies IN THE OPEN! That way they would be a) visible and less liable to be overlooked, and b) able to have fresh air circulating round them and hopefully not end up rotten, like about 60% of all green stuff that I buy does. I tried to look on the Argos website but that was messing about so I thought I'd look in the catalogue later (ie when I remember a fortnight later). But I didn't have to because the god of plastic storage smiled down on me and threw just what I wanted in my path. I like to think of it as karma for giving old ladies manicures every day.

The Pyrex of course is always handy - pity there was only one lid but beggars can't be choosers I suppose. The mirror is another story. After a quick look on eBay I can see no market whatsoever for it. I could hang onto it until my next car boot sale but the fact is my house is full of such things so I think my only option is to wait until tomorrow night and then sneak it back, under cover of darkness, to my neighbour's front way. I noticed today that quite a lot of stuff had gone from the box and the heap that had been thrown outside (my neighbour doesn't live there, in case you're wondering why the need for all the subterfuge - the property is an unused B&B. Actually, there's no need for any subterfuge, I'm just devious by nature) so I'm not the only one making off with his junk....just the closest one.

Ill-gotten gains!

And now, your comments on this situation, if you please. Sid, a resident where I work died last week. He was very old and he'd just had enough. He was very much cherished and all of his extended family were around him at the end....he had what you might call 'a good death'. We had all grown to like his daughters very much and they appreciated what we'd done for their dad. When they cleared his room the family left Sid's clothes behind for us to use as we see fit - sometimes a resident comes to us from hospital wearing just their pyjamas, with no other clothes at all (hard to believe I know, but true) so we can provide something to wear from our stock. My colleague had sorted Sid's old clothes into 'keep' and 'charity shop' and being both nosey and an eBayer I had a look through the charity shop stuff. Inside were two pure wool sports jackets, from maybe the 60s, very good quality and eminently sellable. Not for my benefit, I hasten to add, but for the Residents' Fund (fundraising is part of my job). I could have taken them out, brought them home and listed them but the fear of being found out and sacked is too mortifying so I didn't. I told Nadine, the matron, my idea and she said we need to ask Sid's family but she was sure they'd be okay with it. My question is, do you think my idea is objectionable, and would you just have gone ahead and done it without asking? The fear of exposure as a thief, even with the most altruistic of motives, and the shame of being in the local paper ('Local Mother of Three Steals Dead Pensioner's Clothing!!!'....the horror, the total horror!) is what stops people like me, and probably you guys too, from stepping out of line. But is taking my neighbour's destined-for-the-tip trash any different from selling Sid's clothes without permission? I probably won't ask Sid's family about the jackets now - Big Man thinks Nadine should have just made the decision herself since Sid's family gave us the clothes to do with as we wished - but....I dunno.....we'll see. What do you think?

PS This clip from The Royle Family is not only heartbreaking (and Sinead O'Connor's singing is heavenly) but it makes me think of the way Sid's family all came to his bedside in his last couple of days. If you haven't ever seen the Royle Family, maybe you're in the US, try to watch it - it is brilliant!





Yessssss!!!!!

Panic over!!! I found 'Adolf, the Half-Aryan'. Just don't tell Mr Charming about the £12.50 OK, or he'll want his share lol!!!

My Ideas Notebook

One of my goals for 2012 is to update my ideas notebook regularly so I thought I'd show (and tell) you what that is exactly. When I was doing my degree we were told to always keep a book with ideas in - it could be pictures, things you'd read, ticket stubs, photos, sketches of your own...whatever inspired you to create. Some bloggers have great ideas notebooks, very artistic, experimental and unusual. I love Sue Brown's sketchbook.

This is my notebook

I started this one a few years back, 2008, originally with the idea that I would write down books I wanted to read, usually after reading a write-up in the paper. Then I progressed to things I wanted to do/see/watch, then funny articles out of the paper, strange and bizarre pictures and general things that I admired or wanted to make myself (as in I make them, not that I made for my own use). As an example, the page belowhas; Five Ways To Live Longer (including 'Leave your kettle to sit for a minute after boiling' and 'Think about sex in your lunch hour'. Hmmmm); a clipping that says thongs now account for only 13% of all undies sold; information about squashes; a little cartoon of a male shoe shop assistant wearing a gas mask whilst fitting a shoe on a woman's foot - his manager is saying to him 'A word, Mr Henshaw'. I thought it was funny anyway ;); another article about the monetary value of a housewife; advice on packing your quilt sets into one of the pillowcases 'for ease every bed-change day!' I actually started doing this and find it a good idea; and finally a notice about Adele playing at the Southampton Guildhall - the tickets were only £15. Red and I went to the gig and Adele was very nervous but totally fab and it wasn't even full!

Mis mas of all sorts of interesting stuffs!

More books, info about calories in bread and a 'Day of the Dead' nighlight

The one thing that always makes me smile when I look at it (and I DO read my notebook, often) is an article I snipped from the paper when I first started out. It was about the way girls, ie daughters seem 'sugar and spice and all things nice' but are secretly planning chaos,whilst..

'Boys, especially in their early teens, are like domesticated goats - quite friendly, if wary, utterly uncomprehending but usually compliant. You are not on their planet, but they'll tolerate your occasional visit to theirs.'

I've yet to read a more spot-on appraisal of teenage boys, Mr Charming included, yet. Does this chime with your experience of sons?

PS I've loads to stick in my book...better get on with it! 

For Heaven's Sakes....!

How annoying is this? I've sold a book on Amazon for £12.50 and I can't bloody well find it. Why is everything so disorganised? I'm almost driven to join one of these de-cluttering challenges that are flying round blogland. But not quite.

Going to bed now to try to dream where I put it. Like that's going to happen...

BTW, thanks for your good wishes for Red everyone. She recovered sufficiently to go to Chiquitos this evening with a friend but I'm still planning to get her an appointment with the doc to check the heartbeat out.

Happy Birthday Red!!!

My beautiful girl Red reached 22 today and she spent it curled up on the settee asleep. She's really suffering with 'raging' (according to the nurse at the walk-in centre) tonsillitis. She can't get comfortable in her own bed due to a spring in the mattress that's hurting her hip - so far she's been in my bed, Mr Charming's bed whilst he's at uni, and on the settee. She even spent all night downstairs the night before last! She has some antibiotics now and they seem to be doing the trick. I'm a bit worried though...she told me this morning that after climbing the stairs her heart was beating so hard that it really frightened her. I'm going to try to get her an emergency appointment at the doctors because she already has a heart murmur (all three kids do), plus Babcia has atrial fibrillation (erratic heartbeat, although she's pretty erratic generally so why should her heart be any different?) and all four of my grandparents (Red's great-grandparents) died of heart-related problems. I sometimes get that really pounding heart in bed at night - it feels so strong that you can almost see your chest jumping. I'm hoping it's nothing to be worried about....have any of you guys come across it?
So, we didn't go for our special meal to TGI Friday and will have to rearrange it for one night this week, which will mean neither of her brothers will be there. Seems a shame when Mr Charming will be home Thursday. Maybe we'll go then.

Awwww, bless!!!!

Something's Cookin'

For someone who moans quite a lot about how much food costs I rarely write anything about what I actually do with it once I've forked out all my money. Inspired by Karen's great blog I thought I'd give you an insight into what we'll be eating during the next few weeks chez Keshling.
I have been tidying my kitchen cupboards over the last couple days, partly because I have something of a stockpile of food and cleaning stuff (10 boxes of 52 Finish Powerball Dishwasher Tablets, special offer at Lidl - £3.75 instead of £7.50. Should last a year. 10 packs of 300g Extra Mature Cheddar from Lidl - £1.64 each. 24 packs of Strawberry Supreme Dessert at 10p each. 4kg of popping corn at 99p a kilo. And so on.) and partly because my cupboards are a frightful, disgraceful mess. However, hoorah!!! Some are tidy now and I will post 'before and after' pics just as soon as I take some, and before they get filled to the top with crap again. I haven't allotted specific days to my menu plan - I just cook whatever I remember to take out of the freezer the night before, which is usually what the cook feels like eating. And two of the meals have been eaten already. The puddings are made from things I came across whilst turning the cupboards out.

Cheese and Onion Flan with Chips and Beans

Spicy Mince and Carrots with Feta Crumble

Fish Pie with Peas

*Minced Beef Cobbler

Roast Pork with all the trimmings

Cheese, Ham and Potato Omelettes with Beans

Mole Chicken with Savoury Rice

*Prawn Curry, Pilau Rice, Onion Bhajis and Naan Bread

Meatloaf, Spuds, Vegetables

Chili and Rice with Cornbread

Cheese and Potato Pie with Beans

Crab Chowder with Cornbread

Jambalaya with Prawns and Chorizo

Sernik (Polish Cheesecake)

Flapjacks

Lemon Meringue Pie

Mango Fool

Irish Cream Cake

Pancakes with Maple Syrup

Cream Cheese Frosted Carrot Cake

Bakewell Pudding and Custard

Blackberry Crumble and Custard

Fudgie Wudgies

Gingerbread and Banana Trifle

Mincemeat Tart with Meringue Topping

As much Strawberry Supreme Dessert as you can eat lol!

We already ate the Minced Beef Cobbler; the Spicy Mince thing is a recipe from the Daily Mail - we've had half last week and still have half frozen; and the Prawn Curry was really quick, easy and pretty economical. It was just half a bag of Lidl prawns with four big potatoes cut into cubes and parboiled (thanks for the idea Saphy!), a jar of Lidl Jalfrezi Sauce and a tin of Asda Chickpea Dhal thrown in. The rice was microwaved in 90 seconds and I was surprised to see it was marked best before 2007...ooops! Tasted fine though (famous last words!!!). The onion bhajis were yellow stickered from Sainsbury's, 74p from £3; and the naan breads were found in the bottom of the freezer and won't have been full price either. There's still about a third of the curry left so I've frozen it. My Mr Charming is coming home from Uni for a few days on the 11th so I'll make the Fudgie Wudgies (his favourite Brownies) and the Crumble for when he's here.

You can see that almost everything is made from scratch - I often really don't feel like setting to and cooking when I get home from work at 4pm, yet it's so nice to have home-cooked food. I feel very sorry for people who can't cook, or won't try to cook. They don't ever get the satisfaction of putting a meal in front of their family and thinking 'I made that!'. I know it's not a very feminist attitude but it gives me a lot of pleasure to produce something delicious from a few ingredients. I think some women wear as a badge of honour the fact that they don't cook or 'just don't have the time to cook!' As if they're so busy with their important and glamorous lives whilst the rest of us bovines skivvy away at our inconsequential little pin-money (if only!) jobs. I remember when Red was baptised we threw a party afterwards and I'd worn myself out, gone totally over-the-top with the food. French patisserie, a fantastic (I won't deny it, it was) cake in the shape of a cradle, quiches, croquembouche, dips...I'd gone crazy. And the wife of Big Man's sea daddy turned to me and said 'I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't have the time'. Because everybody knows, being a childless legal secretary whose husband is mainly at sea is SOOOOOO much harder than cooking up a 'party-food-for-fifty' storm and coping with a tiny new baby when your family are 250 miles away. That woman never knew how close she came to a smack in the chops that day, and I could have easily blamed my hormones.

So there you have it, the kind of things we eat. The best part is that I either found the ingredients in the back of the cupboards and realised that I could make whole meals from them, or I bought the makings last month, when I overspent on my £250 food budget by about £140 (eeek!!!). I haven't so far bought any food specifically to make meals with. And yes, I DO realise it's only the 4th but I'm pretty sure we can go to maybe the 20th without buying anything other than milk and probably bread. I have a breadmaker but I'm the only one who likes homemade bread....yep, the others here are just weirdos, I know. I'll keep you posted about how we go on.

Just for SP, Spinach and Ricotta Bake

908g frozen spinach, defrosted
340g ricotta cheese

4 medium eggs, beaten
freshly grated nutmeg
salt and pepper
cannelloni tubes
2x400g cans chopped tomatoes
handful of fresh basil leaves, finely chopped

Preheat your oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas 4. Grease a lasagne dish. Squeeze any excess water out of the spinach then put in a bowl with the ricotta and garlic and mix together. Stir in the eggs and nutmeg and season.
Using a piping bag squeeze the filling into the cannelloni tubes one by one. Place them in one layer into the dish. Mix together the tomatoes and basil. Season. Pour the tomatoes over the cannelloni and bake for 25-30 minutes. Serve with a green salad or whatever turns you on.

This is an old Slimming World recipe that we've had and really liked stacks of times. What I sometimes do is buy fresh lasagne sheets, cut them into three, put the filling in and roll up like cannelloni - they cook much faster. You can also substitute a carton of passata with basil plus 1T of sugar for the tins of tomatoes. Bon appetit SP!!

Calling Frugalistas!

I have a question. When you have a NSD - No Spend Day - what exactly do you mean by that? Is it a day when you don't spend a single penny on anything whatsoever, or is it a day when you can buy, say toilet roll or bread but not a magazine or a mascara? Some blogs I read say they have had a 'No Personal Spend Day'....I guess they can still buy family food or pay a gas bill. And that's another thing. If a NSD for you means no spending at all, does that also mean you had no direct debits going out for bills too? Today I have direct debits leaving our account for water, gas and TV license AND I will spend a few quid on vitamins. Are they personal spending, because I wouldn't die without them but I have taken them for years? Would that make it a NSD for me?

I guess most people would say that a NSD can be whatever you want it to be but I'm interested in what you guys use as a guideline.

Things That Make You Go Grrrr!!!

When you're the first car at the lights, which are red. They turn to green and within TWO SECONDS the car behind is blowing his (always, but always his) horn for you to move. If this drives you crazy too can I recommend you avoid being the first car in the left-turn only lane at Tescos in Millbrook, Southampton. Unless your name is Mrs Stig.

Pic from here

Minnie's Funeral

Today was a gloomy, rainy day, the kind that TV directors traditionally use to show that everyone is unhappy and things are going badly. I went to the funeral of one of our residents, Minnie. She was 85 when she died, very suddenly, a couple of days after Christmas - it truly was what she wanted.

Minnie only came to us about August last year. At first she could stand up, with the help of two carers but within a very short time her legs couldn't hold her up any more and this, coupled with her fear of falling, resulted in her being confined to her chair. A widow with no children and precious few visitors, she was extremely private and I guess had been raised not to cause any trouble or fuss. This characteristic made her seem at times ungrateful, and she certainly was rather ungracious. On Christmas Day she turned down the lovely dinner and asked for sausages. One of my colleagues told me later that Minnie had told her that she 'wished we hadn't bothered getting her any Christmas presents', even though every resident got just a small gift, a gesture really, from the staff and management. I popped into her room every morning when I arrived at work to see how she was, and every few days she would ask me to do her nails for her - her way of asking for some company. I kept trying to get her to take part in activities that were going on but she refused point blank to come out of her room until one day a week before she died.
I kept saying to her that I was determined to get her into the lounge, even if only once in 2011 so she could watch some entertainment. She, in return, kept telling me that she wanted to die and that she hated being stuck in her room, unable to do anything. In exasperation I said 'don't tell me any more that you wish you could do something, Min! Everything I suggest to you gets turned down, so don't tell me any more' and flounced off. And yes, I do feel bad, FYI. Ten minutes later a colleague came to say that Minnie wanted me - she'd decided to come out and watch a school choir that were singing carols to the residents that morning. She didn't speak to any of the others there; got herself put sitting right beside the door (in case anybody tried to speak to her); and insisted on returning to her room almost before the last note had been warbled. And that was the only time Minnie left her room.

We were all surprised when Minnie died. She'd felt a bit ill on the Monday and seemed to be leaning to one side in her chair, but was still with it - still talking in her normal querulous fashion. Then by 5.30 the next morning she was gone.
Ten days ago I went into her room to ask her family - a not-very-close female relative who I had seen visiting only once before, with her husband - if everything was okay. They had cases with them and were going through the room like a pair of locusts. They had taken down a silly little ornament I'd bought her - for something to say I said 'I bought that for her, for a bit of fun'. Well, they took that; all her old lady clothes that I would say were worthless; even half-eaten boxes of chocs. But afterwards, when they'd gone, I discovered they hadn't bothered to take two items that Minnie had taken the time to bring from home, just knick-knacks; and they had left behind photos of her as a young woman and with her husband. Is it just me or does anyone else see something wrong in that? I know that Minnie had a house that'll need to be sold and I'm trying not to be judgmental, but... Heck, who am I trying to kid, I'm the most judgmental person I know. I think they're stinkers.

The funeral was as grim as I expected. About 20 people turned up, including me and Minnie's social worker. There was no priest in attendance; rather a smarmy-looking man who clearly had never met Minnie, in fact he said that he had been told about her by her family - I knew more about her just from filing her nails every week! Most of the time he was talking in general terms about death, and he read two poems about death. The hymns were piped over the tannoy and were the most innocuous you could imagine (and my three most hated hymns, unfortunately). There was nothing of the real person in the funeral and that made me upset.

Can there be anything sadder than a funeral that lasts 25 minutes, led by a stranger whose lines have been fed to him, attended by just a handful of people? It's almost as if Minnie came and went, and left no mark on the world at all.....

Is It Money-Saving If....

...you decide against buying biscuits and cake at Lidl in favour of baking a homemade cake, which you all then eat 7/8ths of in one sitting?

Looking nothing like the picture but still very scrummy, with a bit of going-mouldy fromage frais!

I had £47 left of my £250 food budget when I went shopping this morning, and my list had food needs for the next 11 days meals. I didn't need much because I have the makings of most things in the freezer or cupboards already. The total came to £52 but that included 6lbs of minced steak at £1.49 a lb - not on my list and limited to six per customer but such a bargain that I couldn't turn it down. But then, when I got home and checked my emails later I had one from Approved Foods. Carb Addict is a popcorn freak and they are selling popcorn kernels at 99p per kilo so I ordered four. Plus another £36 of stuff on top that we didn't really need. I'm not sure why I am the world's worst self-sabotager but I am. I suppose the good thing is I got an extra £200 in my wages for the overtime on Christmas Day and New Year's Eve, and even being £50 over my food budget is good for me.

We bought a reduced turkey crown just after Christmas. I cooked it this evening and I hope to get three meals out of it - roast dinner, turkey and leek pie and turkey stew and dumplings. I also got three meals out of the pork loin I bought after New Year's, that was reduced by 50% to £10. I'm just not used to ekeing things out like this, and we still have meat or sausages for nearly every meal; even just a bit of bacon in Egg, Bacon and Potato Bake counts as a meaty meal to me. Thank God I can cook is all I can say - it must be very hard for those who can't or won't home cook. My Red cooked a couple days this week and she's pretty good too....at least she won't starve.

I'm working tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday at my regular job. Wednesday I am doing extra hours as a carer, Thursday and Friday my regular job then Saturday and Sunday I am the chef. Never cooked in a works kitchen before and I'm soooooo nervous about it! Keep your fingers crossed I don't poison any of the residents!!!

Me on Saturday. Except I will be screaming.

Some Enchanted Evening

On Tuesday night Big Man and I went to the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton to see 'South Pacific' and I've got to tell you, if you get a chance to see this show then go, go, GO!!! It is fantastic!!

I'd received the tickets as a Christmas present and was really excited about seeing it - I totally love musicals and we get a pretty good selection in Southampton. I was also interested to see what kind of job Samantha Womack made of the role of Nellie Forbush, since we're more used to seeing her over-emoting in EastEnders (I think she's meant to be in prison right now, isn't she? That would explain her absence away in the South Pacific lol!). Anyway, I can tell you that she blew me away! Her voice is incredible and she does a mean American accent too. Her co-star Matthew Cammelle as Emile was also fantastic. I was surprised to see Alex Ferns (Little Mo's abusive husband Trevor, also from EastEnders) in a singing, comedic role as Luther Billis - again a really excellent performance.

At about three hours it's pretty long but the time flies by  - before we knew it we were giving a standing ovation. I really can't recommend South Pacific highly enough. I'd love to see it again and if you fancy checking it out the dates for the rest of the tour can be found here.

If you only see one show this year try to make it South Pacific!!

Come Dancing!

Come dancing! Come on sister

Have yourself a ball

Don't be afraid to come dancing,

It's only natural

This evening Big Man and I had our first ballroom dancing lesson and it was such a lot of fun. He learned as a child and I...well, I just want to go on Strictly and this could be the first step. Nah, don't worry - I'm not that deluded! The class is a 10-week course in a local school and for anyone on an income of less than £12,000 a year it's only £7.50. That would be us then, so we're only paying 75p a week. Where can you get an hour-and-a-half's entertainment for 75p these days? Subsidised education is a wonderful thing.

This evening we did the Foxtrot and the Cha Cha Cha (daaaahling!) There were only three other couples there and one of those was two women. The older of them was so like Babcia to look at (but without her good teeth) that we were quite freaked out. When I texted her afterwards to tell her she has a doppelganger, Babcia replied 'Yes, that WAS me tonight, didn't want to tell you I'd be there, how did I do?' She gets nuttier as she gets older, she really does.

I think we did pretty well all told. We picked the steps up quickly and the instructor is really good. A bit of a namedropper - he knows Len Goodman!!!! - but still a fun bloke. My feet were aching at the end of the session and Big Man's knee was playing him up a bit, but I can't wait for next Monday. I'll be making Big Man practice every chance I get whether he wants to or not. Blackpool here I come!!!!!

One-two, cha cha cha!!!





A Bloody Business

I fulfilled one of my 2012 goals today when I gave blood successfully for the first time ever. Go me!!!!

I'd tried once before, a long time ago, when the Blood Donation Service paid a visit to the offices where I worked as an accountant. It took quite a long time to get the needle into my arm (I am from a family of narrow-veined people; so much so that when my sister V was in hospital once so many veins collapsed in her arms, feet and hands that she ended up with a cannula in her neck. Poor, poor girl!) and when the person eventually did manage to jab it in he collapsed my vein. Not only did he chew my arm up and leave me with a massive bruise from wrist to armpit, he told me I was a 'slow bleeder' and not to try giving blood again. Pig.

Undeterred (well, only for about 26 years!) I decided that as I am a Universal Donor, and since I can only receive my own blood group (thanks, datacreata!), I should try again. So I made it one of my goals for this year. I found the first session of the new year I could and booked an appointment. Just before I went I had my eyebrows and upper lip threaded, so I'd remember what real pain was and though Red was happy to come to that with me she (a fellow universal donor) ducked out of the needle stabbing.

There were a lot of students waiting in the strangely Gothic surroundings of a local church, all eager to 'do their bit'. One girl almost fainted when she'd finished! The first phlebotomist (for that is indeed their title) couldn't get a good vein but the second one said there was a pretty good side one. I smiled bravely. The second lady managed to get a needle in - not massively painful but not pain-free either. Maybe level with waxing, not quite as bad as threading. And five minutes and three seconds later I was done! I'd given my first full 470ml.....a bit less than a pint. I didn't feel like I was wasting away and I didn't feel faint - I just hopped off the bed and walked home carrying my bags of Boots' sale goodies. Oh, and I made my next appointment for June.

If you can give blood (and some people can't - Big Man always did but because of the drugs he takes since his heart attack he can't do it any more. He is also O Rh -ve.) then try to do it. It's always needed.

Just as an aside, after I had Red and was still in the delivery room I was, as a Rh -ve mum, given an anti-D injection. I protested that my husband, the baby's dad was also Rh -ve so surely I didn't need the jab? The midwife said 'yes, but you might have babies with someone else'. A nice thing to say to a panicking young mum whose baby has just been rushed to the SCBU, no? And you all thought they were so considerate in 'One Born Every Minute'.........



Food, Glorious Food!

I am always manking about the cost of feeding my crew on this blog so I thought I'd give you some figures and see whether y'all think I'm right to moan; spending waaaay too much and we're all gannetty pigs; or if I'm doing okay under the circumstances. At the start of 2011 I changed from shopping indiscriminately at Asda (monthly), Sainsbury's (almost daily) and Tesco (infrequently - too expensive for me), to getting my monthly shop at Lidl. It's alright - nothing to tempt me away from my menu plan, unless it's one of their random houseware items -  not too expensive and they normally have what I want. Unless it's marzipan (only stocked at Christmas), suet (whenever I need it they have none, then when I don't they have plenty) or anything on their weekly newsletter that I really love (Rachel's Organic Greek Honey Yogurt for 99p).

Wants it cheap! No fair!!!

So, on Sunday I spent £85.08 on groceries which included £26 on non-food items (loo roll, kitchen roll, socks, plughole unblocker, cat food and dishwasher tablets) so £59 on food. That also included a wholly unnecessary £3 on Belgian Praline Seashells and £2 on Christmas puddings, leaving £54 on meal items. My menu plan was:

Chicken Curry with Rice and Naan Breads

Egg, Bacon and Potato Bake

Spinach and Ricotta Pasta Bake

Pulled Pork in Buns with Chips

Blue Cheese and Butternut Squash Risotto with HM Garlic Bread

Mixed Grill

Meatloaf, Potatoes, Veg and Gravy

I saw 'was' because we've already eaten two of the meals (the top two). I had the rice in stock, as were the naans which were 'Approved Food' specials so I spent £5.97 plus about 40p for the naans and maybe 30p for the rice.That's about £1.67 a head. By some people's standards I guess that's pretty high but for us it's good. The Egg, Bacon and Potato Bake used five big spuds from a 7.5kg sack that cost £2; four eggs from a '10 for 85p' box; one pack of bacon at £1.25; 2T of flour; 2T of cooking margarine; maybe 3/4pt of milk from a '£1 for 2l' bottle; and maybe 200g cheese at £1.48. I think it probably comes out at about £1.25 per head tops (4 of us for the curry, 3 for the potato bake).

We'll probably have the mixed grill tomorrow (because I want Red to cook) and that'll be bacon (£1.25), sausages (£1.49), eggs (cooked somehow, maybe Eggy Fried Bread, at 8.5p per egg - bread is £1 a loaf but we won't eat a whole one!) and beans (41p per tin). That's between 3 people. The pulled pork is a third of a pork loin joint I bought for £10.44, reduced from £21; the buns I have in the freezer and I also have the chips - both were from Lidl. Good quality but cheap. Blue cheese risotto will use up the last of the Stilton from Christmas, plus some reduced Gorgonzola I bought a while back; I have the risotto rice in my storecupboard, and the squash and I'll use some more Lidl frozen rolls for the garlic bread.

It's fortunate that I have well-stocked cupboards, and that I still had a bit of food left over from Christmas, otherwise I might have spent more. I will have one third of the pork joint left after this week and we also bought a half-price turkey crown (£9.50) last week that has been frozen and will make two or possibly three meals. I'm trying to have a couple meat-free meals as you can see. And though it looks like we hardly eat any vegetables it's not strictly true. We just don't eat masses of them!

I suppose some people might turn their noses up at the fact that I don't go to farmer's markets or eat organic but, call me a Philistine, I just don't notice enough difference to pay over the odds for free-range eggs or 'running in the fields all day' lamb. To me, food is food - I don't have any opinion either way about how or where it's produced....I could say 'as long as it's cheap' but that's not strictly true. I buy the best quality that is available to me where I shop. When I've paid my debts off I might go organic, then again I might decide that holidays are more important. It's all about priorities I guess.

Anyway, am I doing okay, do you think? Is food a priority for you? Have I reason to be moaning about how much I'm spending? And could I trim it down more? By the way, I am awaiting delivery of (amongst other things) 3.5kg of Yorkshire pudding mix from Approved Food. I forsee plenty of Toads-in-the Hole coming up! ;D

Pic from here - mine never looks remotely as nice as this!





"....Resolve.....Weakening......."

Oh dear, I'm not doing very well with one of my goals for this year. I said that I was going to try to treat Big Man's TV choices with less contempt but it was a struggle this evening. It's not as if I'm always watching National Geographic, or Sky Arts or BBC4 - I watch as much crap as anybody else - but he seems to go for the most ridiculous, ludicrous programmes. His favourite, not to be missed shows, are Casualty and Holby City, both strange choices for someone who had a heart attack I think. He likes real-life hospital/air ambulance/paramedic shows too but for some reason I don't find them too repellant, just the dramas.

I don't know if it's the sheer preposterousness of the story lines (tonight Casualty had a motorway pile-up; a taboo teacher/pupil relationship that resulted in an overdose, the twist being that the teacher was a woman; a gas explosion; a dangerous chemical leak; an affair where the unwitting spouse was in a wheelchair; and the reopening of the department) or the way all the staff are painted as caring for their patients to the extent where one or more nurse/doctor/orderly/receptionist is at risk of losing their job/s each week just because they care so much. It's all such a load of old hogwash that really, it's an insult to the viewers. Big Man usually watches it upstairs whilst I carry on with whatever I'm doing in the front room but tonight I fell asleep on the settee and when I woke up it was on.

I was able, with difficulty, to restrain my usual cutting remarks on the risibility of the whole show. I may have given a few sarcastic snorts; I may, once or twice, have said 'this is such cack!!!!', but on the whole I was pretty good. I've decided that in order to keep to my resolution in future I'm gonna have to insist Big Man watches Casualty upstairs from now on. It might mean I don't get to see the divine Michael French any more but at least I'm in with a shout of meeting one goal this year ;P

What TV shows do you avoid?

Everybody's Doing It (Pt 2) And A Year-End SitRep

Yesterday I went through my personal goals for 2012 (*and still managed to miss one off!). I also said that I'd give a year-end sitrep so everyone can see what I've managed to pull off in twelve months. I'm only going to do a quick and dirty post because it's freeeezing in this house, and because I want to get into my onesie and watch a film. Something loud and childish.....I'm thinking maybe Transformers 2. Anyhow, at the start of the new year -

- I'm a happy bunny. We reduced our overall debt by £9,387.83 and whilst I'd hoped it would be £12,000 (and we haven't progressed much at all from the end of June) it represents a real achievement for us. We still managed to go on our lovely holiday, which was partly paid for by Big Man's tax refund, and we've stayed reasonably warm and haven't gone hungry. I'm willing to be more strict with myself but I've come to realise that Big Man has his limits (one of which is refusing to eat the same meal two days in a row, making leftovers an unviable option most of the time) and does like his little extras, such as wine and the odd takeaway. Food is an area where we had epic fails every month. I made menu plans and shopped at Lidl all through the year but either we have expensive tastes (don't really think so) or I'm too extravagant in my menus. I budgeted on average £250 per month for all shopping, including Otto's food, and missed it every time. It didn't help that various kids kept coming home for weeks at a time and then permanently, and expected to be fed! I can't complain about that though ;P. Radical rethink needed.

Fab pic from here

My spreadsheet has been very useful in showing me where we are spending frivolously; I think nearly £300 on takeaways and eating out in a year is mighty high but Big Man thinks it's a piddling amount; I have spent over £140 on vitamins and medication that could've been avoided if I put my repeat prescription in on time (a personal goal for 2012); and so on. It's food for thought.

I have come up with a few financial goals but I feel sure that I'll add to the list. I hope they'll help me to shape up!

1. Remember to take my coupons with me whenever I go shopping. I have a special wallet for money-off tokens and I MUST keep it in my bag at all times! I opened an old letter today from Tesco to Red that had two coupons for double points, valid up to January 1. Big Man paid £300 for a new TV from Tesco on New Year's Day and although he used my Club Card I'll only get £300-worth of points instead of the £600-worth I could've had if we'd opened the letter in a timely manner. Scowl.

Nifty little coupon wallet. Handy, and only a chazzed 99p!

2. We paid £333.61 in bank charges last year through our (for 'our' read 'my', since I seem to have ended up in charge) stupidity and lack of attention. I absolutely refuse to pay any bank charges this year. I will be hyper-vigilant!!

3. Paring the expenses alone is useless - I will have to make additional money in any way I can. I want to make £100 a month on eBay; the money will be handy PLUS I will be able to declutter my 'stock'.

4. Pay for everything I can through Quidco. One of my jobs today was to arrange pet insurance for Otto - he's 8 but still quite a rascal so I think it's a good idea. I compared quotes on Compare the Market, found a policy that seemed right then checked on Quidco for cashback offers. The policy is £9.04 a month (£108 the year) but I get £40 cashback, bringing the cost down to £68. Incidentally, it's costing as much to insure Otto, a basic moggie, as it does to insure me. Something wrong there, surely?

5. Go through all our expenses and direct debits with a fine tooth comb to see if I can't bring the total down even more. I pay £6.99 for phone insurance and I plan to call our contents insurer to check out the policy on mobiles. If I can save £84 a year, well, why not do it?

6. Keep an eye on MoneySavingExpert.com every day. There are some great tips and offers on there. It's a brilliant place for advice too. Plus advance heads-ups on free cinema previews, another of my personal goals.

7. Continue to ask myself 'is this a want or a need?' before I waste money on things. For example, I've read several blogs whose owners wax lyrical over their mini-ovens, and according to my Lidl newsletter they will be on sale there from Thursday for £29.99. I'd like one, but do I need one? No. So I won't spend £30....I'll use it for something I really need.

There's bound to be other things that I just can't remember right now - extreme cold has that effect on me. Overall I guess I am aiming to keep a tighter rein on the finances whilst trying to throw as much spare cash as I/we can at our debts. Not very interesting, just more of the same. Grind away.

Anybody else gloomy about having to tighten belts even more? Or is this whole recession thing passing you by?

* Another personal goal is to donate blood this year and I have already booked an appointment for Friday this week. I'm O Rh Neg, a 'Universal Donor', so I am really just fulfilling a civic duty (she says in a holier-than-thou way:)). One job under way - go, Keshling, go!!!!