Getting Back In The Game

It's my nature to be an optimistic person. Some might say stupidly, against-the-odds optimistic - not about unlikely things like winning the Lotto or being left a legacy by a long lost relative, but just about Things Turning Out Okay.

You know what? Usually they do.

I have to be very tired and under pressure to throw a wobbler and to be honest, what good does it do? I still have to go to work - I can only hope we get more staff to ease things for the rest of us. That should be happening the start of October. I will also NOT volunteer to work three carer nights in a row ever again because I clearly can't hack it without turning into a petulant, cranky child.

I still have to (and of course I want to really) live with Big Man, Red and their interminable fallings out. Next time it happens and they try to involve me I am just gonna put my fingers in my ears and start singing. I feel too old and too weary to be carping about who tidies the dining room or unloads the dishwasher and really, when she's 21 and he's 46 aren't we a bit past all this? The problem is when there is a bad atmosphere in the house following one of their falling outs I can't stand it (neither of them seem to notice or care) and find myself madly over-compensating like a total dork. Note to self....must toughen up....

I still need to carry on eBaying so I can make some extra money. I won't go into the injustice of being negged without having a chance to put whatever is supposed to be wrong, right. I will just content myself by saying that I sincerely hope the next pair of vintage trousers the buyer gets rip her crotch out. Bad cess to her.

I have to carry on with my frugal living, money saving and debt repayment. I am in charge of this part of our lives so I can't just give up. We seem to have had a couple of haywire months and I can't even say why, despite keeping spreadsheets of expenses. I had worked really hard to bring down a massive electricity bill by paying £175 a month direct debit. Added to this a turning off lights/not using tumble dryer/going to bed early regime and I'd got it down to £500 or so. I was really thrilled then when EDF wrote and said that my direct debit was going down to £80 a month - I didn't read the bit where it said that any outstanding amount had to be paid IN FULL following a payment review. Erm....don't have that sort of money spare. That bounced. Then the £80 direct debit bounced. Twice. Now I can't pay my electricity by direct debit at all so will have to be super-organised and put that into an account every month to pay off the bill. And I have another bill from EDF for £275.34 (say what?) and if I don't pay it immediately my electricity will be cut off. This is all spiralling crazily - it's lucky I have a biggish wage coming at the end of the month because financially the merde just keeps on coming. We were doing so well too....

Still, life goes on. Soon Mr Charming will go back to uni; Carb Addict is back at school; and Red looks as if she's here for the duration, having split up acrimoniously (on his part) with PC Furious, settled into her portering job and met someone new (already!). Things will get on an even keel again for a while and I'll keep on doing the same as Old Blue Eyes...

Each time I find myself flat on my face,
I pick myself up and get back in the race

We're off to Liverpool for a couple of days. I'll bring you all something back....